Broke off my sexting thing
Posted: Sun Jul 23, 2023 5:59 am
I've mentioned in other places I'd had a sexting on / off thing with an old friend for about two years. He's a man but had helped me really admit to myself I'm bisexual. I know lots of people would see this as cheating (I'm in a long term relationship with a man) but rightly or wrongly I felt ok with it. We never met up and live hours apart.
Recently though he's been blowing hot and cold and really wanting to do stuff one minute then monosyllabic the next. I eventually realised it was only really when we were talking about girl on girl stuff that he was attentive.
He's not wrong, I am attracted to women, it isn't just his attention making me so and I suppose at times I used him for my pleasure but I've cut him off. Explained it's over and blocked him everywhere. I feel a mixture of sadness and relief. Having two men in my life when I really want to be with a woman was stupid anyway but sometimes I'd get really turned on by it. There was a realisation yesterday though that it wasn't him turning me on it was what I was sharing with him that was. So why did I need this guy who was just using me (when it suited him) for wank fodder?
Still working it through but feel in my bones it was the right decision.
Recently though he's been blowing hot and cold and really wanting to do stuff one minute then monosyllabic the next. I eventually realised it was only really when we were talking about girl on girl stuff that he was attentive.
He's not wrong, I am attracted to women, it isn't just his attention making me so and I suppose at times I used him for my pleasure but I've cut him off. Explained it's over and blocked him everywhere. I feel a mixture of sadness and relief. Having two men in my life when I really want to be with a woman was stupid anyway but sometimes I'd get really turned on by it. There was a realisation yesterday though that it wasn't him turning me on it was what I was sharing with him that was. So why did I need this guy who was just using me (when it suited him) for wank fodder?
Still working it through but feel in my bones it was the right decision.