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Married and bisexual
Posted: Sat May 20, 2023 6:16 pm
by Redstar81
So I have been married for 15 years and always openly bi but now and then I wish I had more friends who understood how I feel and could help me embrace my bi side, how do other married people cope with their feelings with sexuality?
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Thu May 25, 2023 7:56 pm
by satehen
I wish I had more bi friends at work. I’m not out at work apart from to my bi friend. There’s a lot of ignorance from what I’ve gaged. In my personal life I have loads of bi friends though. I’ve known I was by since I was 21, which was when I first joined shy’s (original version) back in 2002. So I’m pretty secure in my sexuality, but I’m married to a man and monogamous.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 1:56 am
by rach
My therapist suggested I find a community of bi women who are in hetero presenting monogamous marriages. As I lean into my identities more, I'm finding it becomes harder to grieve the pieces of myself I don't get to experience because I came out late, years into my relationship, and because I'm with my husband. I don't have anyone in my life that can relate to this experience, but it seems like some women here might.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 4:20 pm
by Chaos_Fairy
I am also married to a man, who is very understanding and supportive, but I have only recently started to open up to others about being bi. In terms of coping with feelings, some things that help me are:
- acknowledging to myself when I find another woman attractive
- being kind to myself about it (no telling myself off or trying to squash it)
- being open with my husband about it
.
I'm hoping that by finding other people in a similar situation I will find it easier to hide less! Still figuring out how to come out though.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2023 2:14 am
by rach
My husband is fine with it. Even before coming out we talked a lot about me knowing I wasn't straight and that I felt sad about not ever having experiences with women and feeling like I never will. Conversations about non-monogamy have occured, but we landed on remaining monogamous. That feels right for our relationship, but it doesn't do much to help lift my spirits about those personal issues.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Sun Jul 02, 2023 11:04 pm
by Redstar81
rach wrote: ↑Thu Jun 29, 2023 1:56 am
My therapist suggested I find a community of bi women who are in hetero presenting monogamous marriages. As I lean into my identities more, I'm finding it becomes harder to grieve the pieces of myself I don't get to experience because I came out late, years into my relationship, and because I'm with my husband. I don't have anyone in my life that can relate to this experience, but it seems like some women here might.
I can really relate to this I have to make sure I find ways to keep my identity as bi even while married.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Mon Jul 03, 2023 5:06 am
by rach
What kind of things do you do to preserve your identity?
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2023 1:31 pm
by Redstar81
We talk about fantasies together, what we like about women, go to strip clubs and get a lap dance as a couple, watch lesbian porn together and it just helps me feel I can share my love of the female form safely without risk to our relationship and I can be free to be me.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2023 6:50 pm
by CraftyNaBi27
I'm married to a man (not bi) and in a polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend (is bi). Though my boyfriend is bisexual and can identify a lot with what it means to be bi, I still wish I had female companions. I may make a separate post that will go more in-depth about this next part, but it is hard finding female friends without them thinking I want to sequester them in my polyamorous lifestyle. I think another arrow in my heart is that they see I'm poly, married, and have a boyfriend; they think I'm trying to pull them in too. No. I'm not. I just want bi female friends. It would be a bonus if they're married or in a serious relationship. That way, we have a very similar life.
I used to be active in online communities, but currently, my life has a lot of demands that I often feel like I'm out of the loop and don't really know how to jump in on conversations. It sucks.
Re: Married and bisexual
Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2023 9:50 pm
by Orla
CraftyNaBi27 wrote: ↑Fri Jul 07, 2023 6:50 pm
I'm married to a man (not bi) and in a polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend (is bi). Though my boyfriend is bisexual and can identify a lot with what it means to be bi, I still wish I had female companions. I may make a separate post that will go more in-depth about this next part, but it is hard finding female friends without them thinking I want to sequester them in my polyamorous lifestyle. I think another arrow in my heart is that they see I'm poly, married, and have a boyfriend; they think I'm trying to pull them in too. No. I'm not. I just want bi female friends. It would be a bonus if they're married or in a serious relationship. That way, we have a very similar life.
I used to be active in online communities, but currently, my life has a lot of demands that I often feel like I'm out of the loop and don't really know how to jump in on conversations. It sucks.
Welcome!