Cold, clinical; chatty and friendly; emotive/illogical

[delevigne-fan]

In any friendship, dating, marriage etc

Relationship between you and your mechanic, doctor etc…

The first two can be ok or desirable, the third never appeals - unless their dog just died or something?

Do you want your hairdresser to cry every time he cuts your hair due to the struggle, torture and emotional chaos he experienced from your hair? Was it that bad? If so, isn’t it his fault?

Is your girlfriend a tortured bisexual like Frida Kahlo, talented but beset by lifelong sickness, injuries - physical and mental, chaotic relationships etc?

Is she the tragic author Sylvia Plath? (Google her, she has a real back story - and no not a bisexual).

Is your boyfriend Vincent Van Gogh (or any other troubled artist)? Perhaps he’s lying on his back painting the Sistine Chapel?
Is he Michael Hutchence of INXS? (Tragic. Troubled Australian rock star immortalised in Stuck In a moment by U2.)

I’ve always dated musical, artist men who fit this type of persona.
I still do.
I probably need a wider selection!

[delevigne-fan]

Some of this has been greatly exaggerated…to make a point

[RedRosa]

...I’ve always dated musical, artist men who fit this type of persona.
I still do.
I probably need a wider selection!

I came up in the NYC counter culture of the 70s and 80s, where all my partners were artists, musicians, or radicals, with the former usually into drugs as I was myself back then.

[delevigne-fan]

Yes there’s been that type of issue in the past with some guys.

[Bookworm]

Can other traits be chosen? I prefer warm and straight forward. For everyone I interact/have a relationship with. I connect easier with these types of people. Chatty and friendly is OK but I need to know they are a good person under this and I don't have time for second guessing so this is where straight forward comes in.

Cold and clinical is never my preference.

If anyone cries cutting my hair, I'd assume deep emotional issues and hope they get help. I'd also assume it's a one off because sometimes, emotions get the best of us all and something random can set us off.

I can't do tortured Frida characters. It wouldn't be good for either of our mental health.

[delevigne-fan]

Yes a hairdresser was crying when he cut my hair because I asked him what was on the radio. “Sam Smith - who is gay like me”.
I think was having a moment as he also started talking about migrating here from the Philippines and how he was free here despite being gay - unlike there.

I pretty much only asked him how he liked living here and what was playing on the radio. I didn’t ask him about being gay or expect him to talk about it. Also I had no idea … no bearing on my hair who cuts it. And I don’t wear clothes or signifiers of being bi. I didn’t exude enthusiasm that day. I’m just boring as hell and was coming to get my haircut.

It was an odd experience. I didn’t go back because on the whole he was also trying to get me to come back and dye my hair but I didn’t want to so I thought no point.

Next time I’ll stay silent!

[Bookworm]

Your post made me laugh Delevigne-fan. I can see how it could be awkward. I'm sorry you had the uncomfortable experience of an overly emotional hairdresser!

[Mintcake]

@delevigne-fan @Bookworm

Same with my hairdresser too, she's so emotional to the point that she pours out all her love, relationship and financial problems to me. I'm guessing she does the same to her other clients. Unless she thinks of me as a particularly good listener, which I am anyway!
It's to my advantage though because she's a super stylist, so the benefit is mutual.

[Bookworm]

My hairdresser is so boring compared to the others on here! Feeling envious.

[Bookworm]

On a serious note, where I used to be a fixer and would immediately go into counsellor mode, I am slowly learning to make non committal noises when I get this kind of noise from someone I don't know well. Firstly, because I understand that they are not necessarily looking for a fix but just to offload and secondly, that I cannot get emotionally affected by every problem I see. Took awhile for me to get here and still difficult to stand back at times.

I am much more confident with silences though and this helps. If I have nothing to say, I just sit there. Very empowering and something I learnt from the introverts in my life!