Shybi 3.0

This isnt meant as a thread to find fault with yourself but more as a what if thread.

On the old shys site, I was this quiet little thing that tried to be nice to people but probably at times came off as a bit standoffish at times as I was so shy it was painful.

When I first video called my partner I could barely string a sentence together I was so nervous.

If there was one thing I could have changed it would be the ability to talk without being so shy and quiet and to find my voice and not be so nervous. I have got better (I think).

If there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it have been?

Well not having PTSD would do absolute wonders for me, but unfortunately I’m just living with the fallout.

I guess I'd have to say less anxiety. It wouldn't fix everything, but would probably help with a lot.

I'd say patience... with myself, others, situations, things etc. I have this need for everything to happen right there and then or to have a solid plan A, B and possibly C lined up so I know I can get to my goal. I judge too quickly and it takes me more effort to take time to slow down and understand someone else's viewpoint (something I'm getting better at). I lose patience with objects which don't work or are slow to work - what is the point of them?! I get annoyed at myself for not making better, faster progress with things when people looking in may think I've done quite well. I lose patience with friends and family if I've given the same advice multiple times.

People who tell me to go with the flow have always been very annoying to me. You can't just 'go with the flow', you have to make things happen and therefore, plan accordingly!! So I don't understand this concept at all and I don't have enough patience to try and understand! Weirdly, for my children it's different. I have all the patience in the world. Most of the time! I encourage them to go at their own pace and will work around any challenges they have. My thought is that they will get to wherever they need to go when they are ready and that is the right time.

Ripley wrote: ↑Thu May 04, 2023 6:51 pm This isnt meant as a thread to find fault with yourself but more as a what if thread.

On the old shys site, I was this quiet little thing that tried to be nice to people but probably at times came off as a bit standoffish at times as I was so shy it was painful.

When I first video called my partner I could barely string a sentence together I was so nervous.

If there was one thing I could have changed it would be the ability to talk without being so shy and quiet and to find my voice and not be so nervous. I have got better (I think).

If there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it have been?

This sounds familiar! I was painfully shy as a child, started coming out of my shell late high school 16/17 years, I met my best friend at 18 and that helped a lot. What really helped me though was working as a supply teacher and constantly moving from one school to another, having to make the dreaded small talk in the staff rooms. I’m still quite introverted and shy around new people though. If I could change anything I’d like more confidence when talking to people I don’t know, outside of work. I’m fine at work, I can talk to anyone.

I’m still quite introverted and shy around new people though. If I could change anything I’d like more confidence when talking to people I don’t know

This is still something I have to work on although I am getting better. I get too anxious and uptight about what people think of me.

Even though shys was and still is quite anonymous I worried about what I said and held back a lot and wished I hadnt. If I got complimented I didn't know what to say and if I complimented anybody I worried how I came across and hoped it didn't sound inappropriate. My partner brought me out of my shell a bit but I still get anxious and worry.

I wouldn’t have become involved with someone I met in the original shybi. It was a big mistake and I truly regret it. We meet in person and I knew that she want someoneI wanted to get involved with, but I have in to her constant pursuit and I’ve lived to regret it. You live and learn and I will never make the same mistake again.

In some ways I'm the opposite of the people who wished they weren't crippled by shyness/anxiety, because I've gotten so good at pretending I'm neither shy nor anxious that I can't stop acting as if I am comfortable and confident when inside I'm dying of nerves and I'm second guessing everything I say and do. It has gotten to the point where I just avoid people altogether and get desperately exhausted by RL social interaction. I'm awkward online too, but it's much easier because there's time to think before you speak. IRL I am such a people pleaser and I try so hard to get people to like me, but it hardly ever works out. I was in a job role for 2 yrs where people were constantly being nice to me because they wanted something from me and it was just awful, frankly. Now I have stepped down and it's easier.

Accepting my true self years ago. Not sure how my life would’ve turned out. If my path would've still led me here where I am today. All I know is the feeling I had/have now makes me feel confident, free, comfortable in my own skin. That piece of me that I’ve been hiding all these years may look like to most that I’ve lost my mind but they fail to know that I’ve been this way from childhood times.

I'm shy, to the extent that groups of people make me anxious. I'm good one on one but even then it takes me some time to warm up and relax. Because of this, people think i'm stuck up when they first meet me, which makes it difficult to make friends. When i do make friends, i want to please all the time cause i fear losing people. People have taken me for granted and used me and hurt me so much in the past because of this. I had a low self esteem and still struggle a bit right now with it. If i could go back i would like to be more confident, i think i missed out on a lot of things cause i never believed in myself and i let a lot of people walk all over me. I guess you live and you learn.