Friendships and when they fade

Do you have a question about life, love, sex? Ask it here! Get the advice you need!
User avatar
Orla
Moderator
Posts: 202
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2022 3:12 pm
Has liked: 59 times
Been liked: 86 times

Re: Friendships and when they fade

Post by Orla »

Thank you. I hope to live well and be happy as the best “revenge.” One of my remaining close friends reached out to me the other day, and it was really good to chat and to feel valued.

I’ll always care about the former (?) friend who ghosted me. It’s just how I’m wired. We have a lot of history. But I recognize that I’m apparently no longer valued in turn, and I strongly believe that I deserve better.
User avatar
VirgoGirl
Posts: 605
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2022 6:49 pm
Location: SOUTH AFRICA
Has liked: 328 times
Been liked: 189 times

Re: Friendships and when they fade

Post by VirgoGirl »

@Ripley A true friend would embrace change in a friend if that specific change meant that their friend is living a happier life and being true to themselves. Could it be that this "friend" of your partner might just be jealous and maybe feeling that you are taking their friend away from them? Sometimes people act out because of something totally different than what it seems. Either way, they should be mature enough to then convey their feelings and fears so that you can iron it out. But if they choose to just ignore you and be immature, then so be it....it's their choice to lose the friendship then. Or....they're just hating on you cause of your same sex relationship like @Orla said, if that's the case then there's no love lost there and you're both better off without them.
Ripley
Posts: 72
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2023 9:56 pm
Has liked: 42 times
Been liked: 43 times

Re: Friendships and when they fade

Post by Ripley »

@VirgoGirl you are so very right. I said when we talked that I think its a combo of both losing her friend as she moved to be with me and also a tinge of homophobia. Some people can cope when its not in their face.

I am just disappointed in them and what they said about me hit quite hard.

Not to sound callous but im going to try not to lose sleep over it. Personally seeing my partner grow and flourish is beautiful and most of her friends have really appreciated seeing her blossom in to being herself and not being stifled. Its gorgeous to see and makes my heart dance.
Orla wrote: Tue Sep 24, 2024 8:35 pm Thank you. I hope to live well and be happy as the best “revenge.” One of my remaining close friends reached out to me the other day, and it was really good to chat and to feel valued.

I deserve better.
As for the above. Its good to hear you have other friends that really see your worth. You deffo deserve better.
User avatar
VirgoGirl
Posts: 605
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2022 6:49 pm
Location: SOUTH AFRICA
Has liked: 328 times
Been liked: 189 times

Re: Friendships and when they fade

Post by VirgoGirl »

Ripley wrote: Tue Sep 24, 2024 10:25 pm @VirgoGirl you are so very right. I said when we talked that I think its a combo of both losing her friend as she moved to be with me and also a tinge of homophobia. Some people can cope when its not in their face.

I am just disappointed in them and what they said about me hit quite hard.

Not to sound callous but im going to try not to lose sleep over it. Personally seeing my partner grow and flourish is beautiful and most of her friends have really appreciated seeing her blossom in to being herself and not being stifled. Its gorgeous to see and makes my heart dance.
Orla wrote: Tue Sep 24, 2024 8:35 pm Thank you. I hope to live well and be happy as the best “revenge.” One of my remaining close friends reached out to me the other day, and it was really good to chat and to feel valued.

I deserve better.
As for the above. Its good to hear you have other friends that really see your worth. You deffo deserve better.
It's really rediculous for that friend to imply that your partner has changed because of you. I mean, you're not children or teenagers. Your partner is a mature woman and what she chooses is solely because she wants it and not because of someone else's influence....especially a big life change like this. This friend is very emotionally immature, i think.
Ripley
Posts: 72
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2023 9:56 pm
Has liked: 42 times
Been liked: 43 times

Re: Friendships and when they fade

Post by Ripley »

VirgoGirl wrote: Wed Sep 25, 2024 4:14 am Your partner is a mature woman and what she chooses is solely because she wants it and not because of someone else's influence....especially a big life change like this. This friend is very emotionally immature, i think.
Thats exactly what my partner said. She has autonomy and shes a strong woman. I couldnt make her do anything and nor would I want to.
Post Reply