Coming out stories

[Geek1]

Here's a place for uplifting accounts and troublesome tales of coming out.

I'm not out explicitly but I've never hidden my admiration of women so I think it would be a surprise to no one. However, I am in a LTR with a man so I feel closetted in a way, even though I talk to him sometimes about women I would have a free pass for. I guess it's just not named as anything other than heterosexuality.

I'm feeling so proud of our openness about sexual identities this morning, though, since one of my children casually mentioned last night when we were walking through town that she thought she was probably pan-sexual.

[moonbynight]

My two older kids have both come out, and another thinks she'll probably be bi. I'm pretty sure she has a crush on a girl in her martial arts class, though I'm not sure she recognizes it as such.

I'm glad the younger generation has more resources for figuring this all out early!

[Geek1]

How old are they, @moonbynight?

[VirgoGirl]

I have hidden my sexual orientation from everyone I know for basically my whole life. I have even tried hiding it from my husband....or so I thought.

The only person who really knows my true sexual orientation is my husband. I had a huge crush on a friend (if you can call her that) about 10 years ago. She knew this, took advantage of it and played with my feelings....sometimes you just come across heartless people like that, guess they do have their purpose...teaching you lessons in life. Anywho.....she really hurt me and one night I just broke down and cried. He was consoling me and I just came out to him then and there. To my surprise, he laughed and said he always knew. It felt amazing to just be myself, to not lie to him anymore or to myself.

It's been a rollercoaster ride, he has been extremely supporting. We have had our ups and downs and he has been a little insecure at times but I think we got it all covered now. I do have another friend who knows and that I trust with this info. I have a wonderful and awesome husband and a beautiful, amazing girlfriend as well and my life is finally what I always wanted.

I do not feel that others need to know about my personal life. I don't feel the need to come out to my family as well....I do not think that they will understand. I know they will not love me less but it will be a problem, they won't understand the dynamic of my relationships, especially my mother. She will not be able to get it. And that's ok....

[lisaxx51]

I actually was able to put a label on what I was after my daughter came out as Bisexual.
Before that I didn't know that being attracted to men and women was a thing.
So as someone said before Thank god that the next generation are so much more open and honest than mine.
She is my biggest fan and I'm hers

[ESilver1]

I actually was able to put a label on what I was after my daughter came out as Bisexual.

I had trouble knowing what to call what I was also.

[moonbynight]

I never responded for myself, just my kids .

The thing about coming out is it's something you have to do over and over (I guess unless you're so visibly rainbow-coated queer that there is no possible doubt).

The first time I came out, I was about 16. A good friend told me she was bi, so I came out to her. That was the least stress and drama of any of them, probably because it just happened and I didn't have a chance to overthink it.

When I was dating someone, I usually said something about being bi pretty early on, so that I wouldn't get invested in them and then have them react poorly. It was never an issue.

I came out to a bunch of people back in LiveJournal days. This included both strictly internet friends, as well as some people I knew in real life. Everyone was fine with it, but I specifically chose people I knew to be accepting or queer themselves.

I've come out to a few coworkers at my old job that I was particularly close to, after years of knowing them. It's not that I was intentionally trying to keep it secret, but with having a husband and kids, it simply wasn't a subject that came up, especially in a work context. Both of them were queer themselves, and I'd say our relationships deepened from that. For the last year or two I had a rainbow detail on my name badge and often wore a rainbow watchband, and at least some people seemed to pick up on it.

Since then... I haven't really explicitly come out to anyone, other than my kids to show solidarity. I've posted enough queer stuff on Facebook that I'm pretty sure no one on Facebook would be surprised. And I have no reason to think any of my immediate family would react poorly. I'm not really specifically trying to hide it. Just, I'm private (not that you can tell from stuff I post online), and find the whole "coming out" convo really awkward to do without context. My family has never been much for talking about sex, and there's just no specific reason to bring it up. If I'm ever seriously involved with a woman, I'll tell them when it makes sense to let them know about the relationship.

[Ripley]

At 42 I finally came out.

I met somebody from the old Shys and we got talking. For 2 years we were in a kind of relationship but we were both married.

After 2 years, her husband found out about the relationship and she chose to eventually leave.

I came out to my family and said my marriage was over. My family were so much more accepting than I imagined. They said they had worked it out and it wasn't a surprise.

My partners family now know and they have again been pretty accepting

We are now looking to move in together very soon. I know this is not a dating site and don't get me wrong I didn't come to it thinking it was or expecting this outcome but I am very happy that things have worked out.

[VirgoGirl]

At 42 I finally came out.

I met somebody from the old Shys and we got talking. For 2 years we were in a kind of relationship but we were both married.

After 2 years, her husband found out about the relationship and she chose to eventually leave.

I came out to my family and said my marriage was over. My family were so much more accepting than I imagined. They said they had worked it out and it wasn't a surprise.

My partners family now know and they have again been pretty accepting

We are now looking to move in together very soon. I know this is not a dating site and don't get me wrong I didn't come to it thinking it was or expecting this outcome but I am very happy that things have worked out.

I'm so happy for you! We only have 1 life and we deserve to live it as we choose to....we all deserve happiness!

It's not a dating site, but I met my girlfriend on the old Shys as well and I haven't been more happier ever since!

[Ripley]

This is very true. My advice to anybody now would be live the life you have as we don't get another.

I have plenty of regrets but I intend to make up for lost time. It's nice to hear how the old shy and probably this one too will bring people together (but yes it isn't a dating site so don't come here thinking you can swipe right (or left) or whichever it is