Bisexual

[delevigne-fan]

Hey, I think I knew since I was early teens but ignored it. I was attracted to men too so was easier and simpler to pursue men and ignore my attraction to women. I’ve always fantasized about sex with women and always found women’s bodies much more attractive than men’s but for the last 5 or so years I have been think about sex with women more and more. It’s become some thing I feel I need to do, just don’t know how it would come about as I’m married and ages 41

Its approximately 3 years since I questioned my sexuality and started finding girls attractive. Ov still not pursued anything .. I'm married , he dosnt know. My thought process is because Im Married and love him very much I just need to keep everything as it is .. I understand how you feel, I'd love to be with a woman sexually and think about it a lot so I'm not constantly having a bottle of voices ..
The you only love once go out there meet girls and enjoy against the morally voice telling me I'm married .. I made my vows .
so so not cheat ... It's a constant battle lol

Being bi isn't some kind of black and white orientation where one either has a side to be with woman or men. It's not even necessary that a bisexual or pansexual person would need to maintain monogamous relationships with women, men or other genders.

Plenty of bisexual women are involved in ethical non-monogamy or open relationships, plenty of bisexual women can also be monogamous with anyone of any gender.

Being bisexual is not a licence to be a cheater. Cheating is wrong, but there are other types of relationship styles, unless one is constrained by repressive religious circumstances or something.
If you're not, why not tell your husband?

Edit: I don't know your circumstances or reasons at all. But just stating an opinion to what I read on the surface.

[curlyfoat]

I'm not religious at all . I can't tell my husband as I'm scared. I'm afraid how he will react (not in a physical way) .. I kind of think could jeopardize us .. make him insecure.. I've been with him 16 years and I love him

[delevigne-fan]

I'm not religious at all . I can't tell my husband as I'm scared. I'm afraid how he will react (not in a physical way) .. I kind of think could jeopardize us .. make him insecure.. I've been with him 16 years and I love him

Ok (so to others reading this reply is Curleyfoat - not a philosophical discussion on “queer theory” or identity so avoid if you think this).

Curleyfoat, ok we’ve established you are not religious, is he?

Or does he feel threatened that you being with a girl would be some kind of extra marital activity that would be viewed as cheating? Is he possessive?

If he’s possessive he may not “let” you be with a woman (he does not own you btw).
If he’s religious it might be religious morality or anti anything that isn’t straight sex for procreation.

Do you want sex or a romantic relationship with a girl?
If you only want sex and your husband is a typical straight man he may want to join. this is something you could do if you wanted and were open to it.

If you want a romantic relationship with a girl, Partners can be threatened by that. I can see why because if you’re monogamous it could mean the outside relationship (no matter if the other person is a girl or a guy) could be out of bounds.

[delevigne-fan]

Here you go for “bisexuals”

https://www.elle.com/life-love/sex-rela ... sexuality/

[curlyfoat]

I'm still getting my head around it , in an ideal world.od love a romantic relationship with a girl however while I'm married to my husband that won't happen , he's not possessive and he certainly doesn't own me but I respect that he's my husband and I don't want to cheat .. I guess my only option is to open up to him but I'm afraid of how that will effect our marriage and potentially be over .. I don't think it's all as black and white as that .. I'm not up for a 3 some at all... As a forty odd year old woman who only discovered these feelings a few years ago I find it very difficult

[Mintcake]

I'm still getting my head around it , in an ideal world.od love a romantic relationship with a girl however while I'm married to my husband that won't happen , he's not possessive and he certainly doesn't own me but I respect that he's my husband and I don't want to cheat .. I guess my only option is to open up to him but I'm afraid of how that will effect our marriage and potentially be over .. I don't think it's all as black and white as that .. I'm not up for a 3 some at all... As a forty odd year old woman who only discovered these feelings a few years ago I find it very difficult

I really feel for you. You must be tormented sometimes with thoughts of being with a woman spinning around inside your head. It's so difficult to suggest a solution.

Your earlier post mentioned that you've been with your husband 16 years and that you love him. It's very tempted to say to you do nothing. Don't throw away what you have. From a personal point of view, love in a relationship isn't something that is familiar to me. Yet I can appreciate if love IS something you have, it's so very precious.

Ultimately only you know best how your dear hubby thinks and reacts. You're a loyal person who wouldn't go behind his back, by the sounds of your posts. Therein probably lies the answer to your dilemma.

[curlyfoat]

Thankypu for your input and your empathy , it's tough one. . my only option would be to end it then get out and date girls I guess but how do I end it with some one I love to take a chance that I meet a girl and fall in love when I've ended it with the man who I love amd care for .. I'm not actually asking you I'm.just talking hypothetically and questioning out loud I don't expect you to answer lol xx