Married and bisexual

[MarieGreen]

I've started to broach the fact I watch lesbian porn with my long term partner and who I find attractive on TV etc. He's not really picking up on the hints, or doesn't want to.

I'm not sure if having a community of bi friends would help or frustrate me more? I'd certainly want to be unfaithful with a woman (if I listened only to my libido).

[rach]

We talk about fantasies together, what we like about women, go to strip clubs and get a lap dance as a couple, watch lesbian porn together and it just helps me feel I can share my love of the female form safely without risk to our relationship and I can be free to be me.

Man, I can't imagine my husband being interested in doing some of those things with me. We recently had a really nice, overdue chat about this aspect of my life, and his by proxy, and I feel a little more at peace.

[Mintcake]

For any married women who feel desires for other women, I empathise with you. I really mean it. You must be consumed by your own private thoughts on the matter. It can't be easy.

In a strange way, I see & experience it from a different perspective. I live my life as a single 20s something bisexual girl. No interest (yet) in settling down and/or having babies.
My attitude to dating either gender is similar to my 2 favourite kinds of restaurants. Sometimes I crave for Indian food, other times Chinese!

Back to my point about married & bisexual......by chance a year ago I met a married woman, a decade older than me. We had an instant attraction for each other, both physically & intellectually. She is married to a man with whom she no longer enjoys intimacy. Apparently she has had feelings for women many years. Leaving her husband is not an option as she is kept by him in a very affluent lifestyle. That boat she no way wants to rock and he has no idea what her true feelings for women are.

She and I have a sort of FWB arrangement. We live 80 miles from each other & meet up half way about once every two months whenever her hubby travels for business.

It's a mutually beneficial arrangement. We enjoy each other's company, eat well, have wonderful discussions and enjoy sexual pleasure. We don't talk much about our private lives and so I don't divulge any info about other dates I go on. Whether she sees other women, maybe, I have no idea.
From her point of view she has a lot to lose, should she be found out. For me? Nothing to lose. That isn't meant to sound flippant. Like I said, it's not easy for any of you who is married.

[RedRosa]

...In a strange way, I see & experience it from a different perspective. I live my life as a single 20s something bisexual girl. No interest (yet) in settling down and/or having babies.

That was my experience too when I was your age. Ultimately I never married and instead alternated long term relationships with men and women (the last was with a woman.) Though I lived with a couple of the guys (my first boyfriend for 6 years) I've never lived with a woman. I got in my mothering licks by helping to raise my niece after my brother died (my sister-in-law was emotionally shattered for some time after his early death.)

I came of age in the New York City counterculture of the 70s where the mores were accepting of all kinds of lifestyles, and I never lost my punk anarchist sensibilities even after entering the corporate entertainment world.

But I have mellowed with the years. Before I had nothing but disdain for the bourgeois world, now I have some compassion, especially for bi-women who are married and blocked from acting on their desire. I have no counsel to give and no advice to offer having never been in that situation, so I'm with Mintcake on this, it's not easy for our married sisters.

[VirgoGirl]

We talk about fantasies together, what we like about women, go to strip clubs and get a lap dance as a couple, watch lesbian porn together and it just helps me feel I can share my love of the female form safely without risk to our relationship and I can be free to be me.

My husband has been super supportive about my sexuality. We have talked about going to a strip club together and probably will. If i find a woman attractive, i say it and we'll also discuss women on tv ect. I'm in a ldr with a woman and he knows. He is ok with our relationship, he knows we're intimate (phone sex ect.). He's also ok with the fact that me and girlfriend will most probably meet up one day. However, her hubby is not that happy about us, he knows, he's made peace with it but it's going to take some time for him to get to the point of being ok with us physically meeting up one day. We have an understanding that our husbands are first priorities. Both of us know that not either one of us are going to leave our husbands willingly. We both love them too much but we seem to be satisfying another side of ourselves and covering those needs. Im happy, she's happy. It's been working out for 2 years now and i can see this going on for a long time. The bond between us is amazing. Anyway....my husband has been a star through all of this. I guess its all about good communication. Thia has brought us closer to each other too. We communicate better.

[CraftyNaBi27]

I'm married to a man (not bi) and in a polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend (is bi). Though my boyfriend is bisexual and can identify a lot with what it means to be bi, I still wish I had female companions. I may make a separate post that will go more in-depth about this next part, but it is hard finding female friends without them thinking I want to sequester them in my polyamorous lifestyle. I think another arrow in my heart is that they see I'm poly, married, and have a boyfriend; they think I'm trying to pull them in too. No. I'm not. I just want bi female friends. It would be a bonus if they're married or in a serious relationship. That way, we have a very similar life.

I used to be active in online communities, but currently, my life has a lot of demands that I often feel like I'm out of the loop and don't really know how to jump in on conversations. It sucks.

Welcome!

Thank you! I appreciate that warm welcome.