Always been Bi but only recently accepted it

[MarieGreen]

I'm in a long term relationship with a man who I love but I can't shake thoughts of wanting to be with a woman.

Since going on HRT (I'm 46) my libido has increased again and I am often thinking about sex with a woman. All the porn I use is lesbian. But I've known deep down I've been attracted to women all my life. I used to have these super intense friendships as a teenager that I now accept were more than just friendships in my head.

A friend once asked me if I would go down on a woman (this was when I was still in denial) and I said "hell yes". It had never occurred to me that not all women would feel the same. I always assumed women's (and perhaps everyone's) sexuality was more fluid than the social norms society accepts.

But now what to do with this? Stay closeted or come out and then what for my 10 year relationship?

[delevigne-fan]

Check page 15 on coming out to a spouse or partner though it’s all useful possibly for you:
https://caps.ucsc.edu/resources/coming- ... sexual.pdf

Here’s another useful story on a bi woman in a non-monogamous relationship, if this is possibly of interest:
https://www.newsweek.com/im-bisexual-no ... us-1686897

[delevigne-fan]

I reckon check this out too - on exploring being bi when monogamous:
https://www.wellandgood.com/bisexual-monogamy/

Good luck and be well

[Laurie]

I think coming out eventually and at your place would be best for your peace of mind. I just recently came out as bi to my friends and family, I’ve known since I was in my early twenties. Didn’t want anymore time to pass with this under my belt.. I know it’s a hard thing to do and I wish you the best for when it happens. I hope your partner understands and is there for you.