If you were 16 now...

[MarieGreen]

I'm in my late 40s and grew up in the UK. While there was an LGBT club (no more letters in those days) in my university,I never felt "gay enough" to attend. And jokes about gay people were still fair game when I was in my teens. For example while Blackadder is hilarious I dare you to rewatch "goes forth", released in the early 90s yet has jokes in it like "last one back is a Homo!" Women who came out as bisexual in the lads mags were at least portrayed as doing so because it was kinda horny for the lads.

Then there are my parents who are openly homophobic. To the point where they said if any grandchild was gay they'd disown them.

If I was 16 now, would I be "out"? I don't envy gen alpha in so many ways but in the ability to be who you want they're amazing.

I think I would be out as bisexual and seeking relationships with other girls. Blows my mind that with all my years I would feel more confident to do that as a teen than I would now.

What do you think?

[moonbynight]

Would I do an official "coming out" thing if I were a teen now? I don't know. The idea bothers me. Straight people don't make some big coming out thing that they're attracted to the opposite sex.

I'm fairly private about my sexuality - including relationships with men, not just queer-related - in real life. I don't know if this is something inherent to me that would be the same today, or related to when I was brought up, or how I was brought up. Are we assuming I have the same parents, but shifted forward in time? How would the way my parents did things be different because of this? I know, I'm overthinking this.

I hope we reach a post "coming out" stage where there are no assumptions about who people will have relationships with, and coming out won't be seen a necessary thing.

Would I date girls if I were a teen today? I imagine so.

[MarieGreen]

Perhaps I didn't explain myself. I didn't mean lip syncing to "I'm coming out!" on stage but would some or even all of my relationships been with women? Yes.

Kind of feel stupid now for asking what was quite a vulnerable thing.

[moonbynight]

Perhaps I didn't explain myself. I didn't mean lip syncing to "I'm coming out!" on stage but would some or even all of my relationships been with women? Yes.

Kind of feel stupid now for asking what was quite a vulnerable thing.

That truly wasn't meant as criticism of the question at all, just thinking on the whole subject of coming out.

I think the world is definitely very different for today's kids, and do wonder what would be different if I were young now,

I wish we were a post coming out society. I think we are much closer than we were, but, from observing my kids, not quite there yet.

[VirgoGirl]

Let me answer this question differently. If I knew back when I was 16 what I know now, I would have come out then. I would have had a better chance of experiencing what I can unfortunately not experience now. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my life and the way it played out. I only regret the things I never had the guts to do.

[Ripley]

There is too long to say what i would do if I could go back to being 16. I would have come out long ago knowing my family could accept it. This question had me going down a whole other rabbit hole. I wish I had found myself earlier and had the confidence to not be so submissive (not in that way) and people pleasing. I had a massive crying meltdown today when i realised that a lot of of my life ive let people walk over me. My life could have been so much different now. Im getting there with stuff but its difficult

[VirgoGirl]

There is too long to say what i would do if I could go back to being 16. I would have come out long ago knowing my family could accept it. This question had me going down a whole other rabbit hole. I wish I had found myself earlier and had the confidence to not be so submissive (not in that way) and people pleasing. I had a massive crying meltdown today when i realised that a lot of of my life ive let people walk over me. My life could have been so much different now. Im getting there with stuff but its difficult

Im sorry you cried today I too feel like my life could have been different. I love my husband and i will never regret my child, its the greatest gift i've ever received. But sometimes my mind drifts and I wonder what it would be like to be in a committed relationship with a woman, I know I will be such a great girlfriend and lover. So many things i could have done differently......

[KAtBiRD]

There’s SO many things I would’ve done differently if I knew then what I know now, I can’t dwell on it though. I have been very fortunate considering what I do and don’t have regarding many aspects of who I am physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and educationally. My mind often drifts and wonders what it would be like to be in a committed relationship with a woman, too @VirgoGirl. Or, what would’ve happened had I been more in tune to my feelings when I was younger. But I don’t think I would’ve exclaimed bisexuality at 16, mainly because of my parents and the mixed messages I interpreted growing up, which has made life a bit challenging as an adult at times. Plus, Im not sure I even knew the label ‘bisexual’ as a kid; I just felt what I felt. My parents had friends from many walks of life and they exposed me to the same, so I grew up very understanding and accepting of people. But at the same time, there was this ‘not my daughter’ mentality. So, I really didn’t know who I was and what I wanted. I think with certain things, I still don’t. Heck, I’d settle for an awesome friendship at this point with a woman, but I don’t think either are in the cards for me. My expectations are numerous with regard to women and I’m not interested in ‘exploring’. I want to commit and grow together, but also be happy and committed in our marriages.