So I've been married for almost 20 years, I married before I realized I was bi. That being said I did have a relationship with one woman (while married) and things went.....wrong. Not terribly, since she is now my best friend, but it took a lot of years to get where we are today. Anyways my husband is uber jealous of her and I don't know how to tell him how deep my craving for a woman goes. Not just her (Although I would if it wouldn't end my marriage) but I want to find a woman to get close with again. I'm starting to feel like there's a good chance I'm poly and I know he is not and I'm stuck in this weird place, without the courage to try and talk to him about it.
I don't want to end my marriage, I want to share myself with someone else and my husband is not exactly on board with sharing. I can't be the only one in this situation, can I? How many of you are married with a husband who you can't be completely honest with?
Long time married
Re: Long time married
Hi Inzy!
I was in this position for some time and it started to wear on us. I had to have an honest conversation and rehitrate how much I love him and how important our life is together, but there is just this other part of me that needs to be explored. I let him know how guilty it made me feel and that I didn't want to hurt him or lose him but this is just who I am. It took some time for it to sink in and we slowly started letting things flow naturally into a non monogamous relationship. We're closer than ever now. But I realize this may not be the outcome for everyone. I just think it's important that you can be 100% honest in how you feel, while still respecting how he feels. Maybe you can meet somewhere in the middle.
I was in this position for some time and it started to wear on us. I had to have an honest conversation and rehitrate how much I love him and how important our life is together, but there is just this other part of me that needs to be explored. I let him know how guilty it made me feel and that I didn't want to hurt him or lose him but this is just who I am. It took some time for it to sink in and we slowly started letting things flow naturally into a non monogamous relationship. We're closer than ever now. But I realize this may not be the outcome for everyone. I just think it's important that you can be 100% honest in how you feel, while still respecting how he feels. Maybe you can meet somewhere in the middle.
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lnzy
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Re: Long time married
OMG, thank you for answering me. And what a positive answer! Flowing naturally into something Non-monogamous would be the ideal outcome for us and I just don't now that he can handle it, even though he might try for me. I don't want to ruin my marriage, you know?