Why is it so hard?

[letsbefriends1st]

Hello ladies..has anyone else found it difficult to find someone who is actually puts forth consistent effort, honesty, and appreciation? Seems like my luck isn’t the greatest and maybe I’m looking in all the wrong places, but most if not all, of my relationships have been mainly one-sided. To put it simply, I guess part of it’s my fault because I keep giving do-overs to those who continue to treat me like leftovers. Need to break the cycle and find someone who can put forth the same as I am instead of it being so one sided. Also, it can be emotionally and mentally draining!

[VirgoGirl]

Hey. I know how you feel. I try to be as consistant as i can possibly be but it always only ends up eventually to be one sided. Story of my life. You're right...it is freaking draining...i feel so tired.

[Orla]

So I wanted to respond because I’ve experienced this recently in a friendship that I’ve had since childhood. Sometimes this person reaches out, but other times she just ghosts.

That happened this week—it was her husband’s birthday and I texted “please wish X a happy birthday from us!” (My husband and me) No response, I was left on read. Like, sorry for saying I hope he has a happy day? I get that she could have been busy when the text came through or forgot about it, but it’s just poor manners IMO. My closer friends would never do that.

I saw this video and found the advice to be very sound:
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLu9g2FD/

[Laurie]

I know exactly how you feel! I’m tired of putting in all the effort too, it’s definitely exhausting I feel like if I don’t reach out to my friends they’ll never reach out to me. It’s shown me who my real friends are.

[KAtBiRD]

I’m sure I make it difficult I met someone great online in January. We discovered we had similar interests and many things in common. We shared photos and discussed plans to meet in March and May. This woman is intelligent, hardworking, and beautiful, and I had no doubts about her whatsoever - I knew she was who she said she was. She was so very enthusiastic and expressive about getting to know me - just so excited. She had told me she would be extremely busy for a function she was preparing for and she had some stress at work. Like I do, because I think I’m a considerate person, I gave her space to make the time to contact me when she could. Well, a month went by, March came around and unfortunately, I became ill and apparently so did she, but I felt like something was off. I asked her if May was a possibility, but she had something else very important to do. I haven’t heard from her and I’m so sad about it. It takes me a very long time to trust, and open up, and I actually prefer to really share myself in-person…my personality, and more intimate details and discussions. I know I can also be a bit modest. I’m not quick to jump into anything sexual when I don’t know someone in-person. At one point, she had shared some lovely sexy pics with me (post surgery, not specifically revealing) and I complimented her greatly and respectfully, but I did not reciprocate. I’m attractive for the most part but a bit shy about my body and modest. I think maybe she just lost interest or wanted more from me. If she could see, hear, and feel my presence, I think she would think/feel differently. Everyday I hope she makes contact again; I’m not one to pester or make drama, though. So, I will wonder for now and not worry too much about meeting anyone. It’s very rare for me to really connect with someone and I felt like she could’ve been the woman. Try not to ghost people. I would have appreciated some explanation. I’m an adult, I can handle it and maybe reflection and improvement can be made. It just stinks.